Mary Sue Who?
by morethanemployed
Summary: Twilight is called to Canterlot to appraise an all-too-perfect upcomer named Mary Sue. But can Twilight put aside feelings of jealousy and replacement? Written as an episode.
1. Chapter 1

This will be in the episode format, so... it'll be a bit different from most fics. What is episode format? Well, it assumes that this is an actual episode, ergo, it is written more like a script than prose. I hope you enjoy!  
...

This one's for your favorite kind of person EVER!

(intro string, zoom in on Princess Twilight Sparkle pacing nervously)

Twilight said, "Oh, Spike, what'm I gonna do?"

Spike, rolling himself into a ball: "No."

Twilight said, "Huh?"

Spike, unrolling himself, "I'm not doing it this time. I'm not going to listen," He grabs his ears, and pushes them up, making a face like Twilight's, "'Oh Spike! Whatever shall I do?! It's not like me to forget to pack my substitute back-up pencil for a teeeeest! Waaaaaaaaaa'!"

Twilight shakes her head: "I appreciate the support(!) It's just... this isn't any old test. I'm going to a princess summit, and I want Princess Celestia to be proud of me!"

Spike sighed, "I know... I just wish you were here..."

Twilight, leering, "Ooooh... to help you on your daaaaaaaate?!"

Spike, leaping upright, "It's not a date!" Bashful, he grinds his toe into the earth, "It's just that we're going to be hanging out tomorrow. Assuming neither of us is doing anything," Waving his hands, he hastefully adds, "Not that it's set in stone or anything!"

Twilight, sighing, "I'm sorry Spike, but I need you there." Putting her hoof below his chin, she raises his head to see his sad eyes, "You're my oldest friend, and I know I'll need you there."

Spike resigns, "I guess it'd be pretty stupid if you went off without me," Smirking, he adds, "Your highness."

Twilight rolls her eyes, "Greeeeat(!) That'll be tons of fun to listen to!" Calling, "Owlicious, keep an eye on the library while we're gone!"

They go out the door.

Theme.


	2. Chapter 2

(Fade in from black, instrumental)

Fluttershy: "So then I went to talk to the bear, and he said he had no idea, then I went to the flamingo, and they didn't know either! So then I went to see the fox and..."

Spike, humming to himself: "What'd the fox say?"

Twilight: "Spike, hush!"

Spike: "Sorry."

Twilight: "Alright, Spike, let's see what we're doing here. Oh!" She bounces to her alert posture, "Princess Celestia!"

Princess Celestia, as Twilight runs up: "Good afternoon, Twilight Sparkle, how's my favorite student?"

Twilight: "I can't wait to find out what we're doing here!"

Luna, approaching Celestia from behind, grumps: "We're judging a new princess to see if she's worthy..."

Twilight: "oh noooo..."

Celestia, worriedly, "Yes, it is not a pleasant time when one has to judge the young to see if they are read to ascend to the throne."

Twilight: "don't worry, your highness, I'm ready to-"

Luna: "Sh!"

The anthem sounds. The ponies make their way into two separate columns facing one another, with Celestia and Luna at the end, opposite a wide archway.

Twilight: "Spike, this is it!"

Spike: "Uh... Twilight?"

Twilight Sparkle trots down the aisle. Once she reaches the end, she looks back to see all the confused faces.

Celestia, leaning in: "You do know you're here to _judge_ another princess, _not_ be the center of attention, right?"

Twilight, sheepish: "Oooooh... yeah, of course!" (blushes)

The herald, a grumpy-looking earth pony, continued, "Presenting Princess-in-waiting, Mary Sue!"

A gasp was heard from the crowd as the young alicorn made her way down the aisle.

Mary Sue; "Thanks everyone! It's such an honor to be here,

(music)

"The world for me is an open oyster,

just someone and me together and we'll be!

The very best of friends,

But as every adventure ends,

Sticking together, just you and me!"

Princess Celestia; "She has such a nice voice!"

Princess Luna; "And she's properly loud enough!"

Twilight Sparkle, nervously; "Uh... yes!"

Spike, looking worried; "Are you okay?"

(Song continues)

Crowd; "The world for you is an open oyster,

A princess must have friends to be!

'Cause the very best of friends,

'Til every adventure ends,

But we'll have to wait and see!"

Mary Sue; I hope to be a princess true!

And just between me and you,

There's so much more to DOOOOOOO,

But I hope that someday I'll beee...

Princess... Maryyy... Sueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

(Song ends)

(crowd claps appreciatively)

Celestia; "As you all know, there is a Canterlot tradition to determine whether or not a pony has that special something to become a true, dyed in blue princess." (She inclines her head) "Hear me, princess-in-waiting Mary Sue. Your princess advisor shall be your most trusted companion. And she is; **Twilight Sparkle**!"

(Crowd gasps)

(Everypony turns to Twilight)

(Spike, gently, pushes her forward)

Twilight: "Ummm... what an honor! I will be so proud to advise you!"

Princess Luna, muttering; "Okay, enough of this," (Loudly) "Let the official tests begin!"

End Scene.


	3. Chapter 3

(Fade in; scene, Twilight's guest bedroom at Canterlot. Twilight paces nervously as Spike jots down her notes.)

Twilight; "We gotta make sure the written test has both multiple choice, and essay questions. Any princess of Canterlot has to be able to handle that! And another thing; Let's make sure her flight and magic are pretty decent. And another thing; who is this Mary Sue?! And another thing; I need all of this in triplicate!"

(Spike, exhausted keels over)

Twilight exclaimed, "Spike!"

Spike grunted, "It's okay, I'll be fine. Oh, by the way, I got you Mary Sue's files. Here's her magic school permanent record."

(He grunts, lifting a book approximately the size of two bears, a flamingo, and an overweight turtle.)

Twilight said, "Woooow... this is quite extensive. Oh! Look! She was rated a five-star reader by her teachers! Just like me! And hey! She's got a commendation at... LEVEL SIX! Wow, I didn't even have that one. And a commendation from the Wonderbolts...? And a personal reference from the Unicorn Alliance of magic...? I never got those!"

(The more she reads, the more nervous she gets.)

Twilight said, "Spike... she's better than me! I couldn't do half this stuff at her age!"

Spike said, "Twilight, relax. Remember what you told me when you got Owlicious?"

Twilight said, "This is completely different! My place at magic school has been taken by someone younger, smarter, and more talented than me! And by the way? She's more popular too! Look at all these friends Spike!"

(She shoves an album in his face)

"Even Grumpy Hooves likes her! His cutie mark is a smiley face with a frown! And he LOOOOOVES HER!"  
Spike confused, "Um..."

Twilight, freaking out, "LOOK AT IT!"

Spike, calmly spoke, "Twilight, it's not fair of you to compare yourself to someone on a piece of paper, I mean, how many times have you saved the world?" She looks down, feeling guilty, "Besides, you can't compare Grumpy Hooves to Pinkie Pie!"

Twilight, laughingly, "Yeah... I mean, it's not like she's going to take my place right?! Anyways, I've got to get going, Princess Celestia is having me over for dinner and I'm running late!"

Spike waves goodbye.

(scene change to the great hall)

Twilight breathlessly exclaimed, "Sorry I'm late, Princess, but..."

Celestia said, "Oh, hello Twilight. I didn't know if you were going to make it, so I let Mary Sue take your place. She has just impeccable manners!"

Mary Sue, cheerfully remarked, "I hope you don't mind Twilight!"

Twilight said, with nervous tic, "Wha- whaaaat...? No! I mean, it's not like I have been waiting to have a special dinner with my idol, Princess Celestia since... **forever**! Noooo... no. Well, yes, I have, but it's okay!" (smiles)

Princess celestia, smilingly, "I'm sure we can work something out. Now... if you'll excuse us...?"

Twilight, backing away, "Yeah, I'll just get out of your manes..."

Princess Celestia said, "Anyways, Mary Sue, you remind me of a certain little filly."

Mary Sue popped up, "You're my hero! Oh gosh, I shouldn't have said that...!"

Princess Celestia said "Oh, don't be ridiculous, you're my best student!"


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. Okay, I think we all know where this is going...

Fade in on Twilight, trotting down the hall with Spike.

**"I cannot believe it! I just can't! She actually said it! She's replaced me!"**

Spike, grumbling, "I don't see the big deal. I mean, technically, you're not even her student any more..."

Twilight, rounding on him, "**You... don't... see a _big__ deal?!"_**

Spike said, "I'm just saying that it's not like you were given special preference, I'm sure Celestia cares about _all_ her students."

Twilight, growlingly, "Well! Maybe my _real_ friends will understand!"

Mane Six (sans Twilight) surrounding Mary Sue.

Rarity exclaimed, "Oh, Darling! I just loooove your mane! It's sooo... you!"

Rainbow Dash excited, "Yeah, and I cannot believe you managed to outfly a griffon! You don't even have your cutie mark yet!"

Applejack said, "And I just love how honest you are!"

Pinkie Pie squealed, "I love cake!"

The rest stare at her. She realizes she's off-subject.

Pinkie Pie bounced out, "And you. You're nice, too!"

Mary Sue graciously said, "Why thank you, everyone you're too kind!"

Twilight approaches with Spike.

Twilight, muttering, "They really are..."

Mary Sue cheerily spit out, "Twilight, how lovely to see you!"

(Runs over, and hugs the princess.)

Mary Sue, gushing, "I cannot wait to see all the trials you've set up for me."

Twilight, slightly evilly, "Oh no... no you can't."

Herald: "Announcing the trials that Princess-in-waiting Mary Sue," (pauses, eyes go wide, gasps...) "Announcing... **two hundred and sixteen tasks!?**"

(crowd collectively gasps.)

Mary Sue, cheering, "Woo-hoo! I can't wait!"

(inspiring music)

"The world for me is an open oyster,

just someone and me together and we'll be!

The very best of friends,

But as every adventure ends,

Sticking together, just you and me!"

(She performs several daunting tasks, gaining perfect marks all along the way."

The crowd sang along, "The world for you is an open oyster,

A princess must behave perfectly!

We always give you tens!

You score and score again!

We cannot wait for your coronation ceremony!"

Mary Sue joined in, " hope to be a princess true!

And just between me and you,

There's so much more to DOOOOOOO,

But I hope that someday I'll beee...

Princess... Maryyy... Sueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

(Song ends)

Twilight, breaking down, "She's perfect Spike!"

A random pony mentioned, "She's the next Twilight Sparkle!"

Twilight Sparkle screamed out, "Noooo...!"


	5. Chapter 5

(zoom in on Canterlot Castle. It is dark out. One light is on in one room. Zoom in on the room.)

Twilight, pacing: "Oh... Spike. What'm I going to do?"

Spike: "Well, she passed the tests for today, right?"

Twilight: "Yeah..."

Spike: "And you made enough for tomorrow and the next day, and the next day, and the next...?"

Twilight: "Yes! But she's perfect!"

Spike: "You make it sound like a bad thing!"

Twilight, sighing, "I just don't know what to do. It seems like everyone likes her more than me!"

Spike, seriously: "I know what you're going through right now is really tough, but... I want you to know; Mary Sue will never replace you. She just can't. No one can!"

(they hug)

Twilight: "Thanks Spike."

Spike: "Good-night, Twilight."

Twilight: "Good-night, Spike."

(Lights off.)

(Next scene, Twilight pacing the halls. Begin song, deeper, sadder.)

Twilight, singing; "The world... was an oyster open, for me.

But now... no one's doting... on me.

What will happen if my friends,

Leave me in the end?

And leave me to be Loo-OOOnely...?"

(camera shift. Mary Sue, adjacent corridor)

"I can't... hold on...

I'm not... Bold now...

I thought I could be Princess Mary Sue...

But do I really impress... YOU...?!

OOOOH!

I roam these castle halls,

and listen to these empty walls!

I've impressed some people,

That I'm Princess Mary Sue...

But there's only one person who!

I want to impress, and I want to impress...

PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE TOOOOOOOO!"  
(End song.)

(scene shift, Mary Sue in the library)

Mary Sue, nervously: "I _have_ to read volumes 6-11 if I hope to keep up. But what if I fail...?!" She starts having a small mental breakdown, "I've never failed! Princess Twilight will send me back to magical kindergarten!"

Twilight, realizing how far she's pushed her, steps out, "Now why would I do that for the world's greatest pony?"

Mary Sue, recovering; "Tiwlight! I mean Twilight! I mean, your highness!" Bows, "I'm sorry you're up late because of me. I mean..."

Twilight; "Actually, I'm sorry that you're up because of _me_." Glances nervously, "You're doing great. You're... perfect."

Mary Sue, sighing, dejected, "No, no I'm not. All my life, I've admired you. And everypony says, 'like Twilight Sparkle, you are'. But the truth is, I'm going to fall far, far short."

Twilight: "Mary Sue... you're a great student, and you've made me proud. Don't worry about what anypony else says; I believe in you."

Mary Sue; "Really?"

Twilight: "Of course!"

They start chatting as the camera drifts away.


	6. Chapter 6

Yay! It's done!

(theme playing softly in the background.)

Zoom in on the main hall. Ponies are loitering, waiting for the day's events.

Herald, nervously speaking, "Assuming Princess-in-waiting Mary Sue does _NOT_ die during her tests, these are her next trials. Heh-hem!"

Twilight said, "Wait!"

Everypony turns to watch Twilight take center stage.

Twilight continued, "I'd like to begin by thanking everypony for being here, I know that many of you are friends with Mary Sue."

Mary Sue nods to the crowd.

Twilight explained, "But now I must make a confession; a princess' greatest ability is to know her own faults and to improve them. And, I must admit, that Mary Sue is a better princess than me." (Turning to Celestia) "If you'd do the honors?"

Celestia happily announced, "By the powers vested in me, I hereby declare Mary Sue to be; Princess Marianne Suzanne the First!"

Crowd, "Hurray!"

Celestia said, turning to her student, "Twilight, words cannot express how proud I am; you've risen to the role of mentor quite nicely."

A random pony said, "Look!"

Mary Sue said excitedly, "I've got my cutie mark! Yaaaaay!"

Crowd sings "The World is Your Oyster"

Fade to black


End file.
